Maybe before 2012 is over. Maybe just before I die. mmm, mi vida.
1) go back to the DR
2) go back to Africa
3) go to a new country
4) finish a tube of chapstick
5) see the northern lights
6) get another tattoo
7) watch the sunrise with someone I love
8) see a shooting star with someone I love
9) camp on the beach
10) make s'mores around a fire
11) have a valentine on Valentine's day
12) donate hair to Locks of Love
13) go to an NFL game
14) swim with a dolphin
15) chop down my own christmas tree
16) get rid of all the negativity in my life
17) own a macbook
18) put my feet in the indian ocean
19) snowboard down a trail without falling
20) prepare a thanksgiving dinner on my own
21) run though a field of sunflowers
22) learn fluent spanish
23) bake a batch of perfect cookies
24) get another piercing
25) drive across the country
26) meet a celebrity
23 December 2011
06 October 2011
transformed
I appeal to you, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:1-2
I've been hit in the head with this word many times over the last few months. The first was in reading this passage, only to hear it again that night in a world religions class, and again the next day at a concert to raise awareness for human trafficking and child prostitution. All three times, God spoke the same message into my heart: Am I worth changing for?
The obvious answer in my head is "Of course, Jesus." But if I think about it, is my life really different? Have I really been transformed, or am I just parading around in sheep's clothing?
I keep coming back to God's promise in Ecclesiastes, that He makes everything beautiful in its time. I think that's what it means to be transformed. When you love Jesus enough to let him wash your feet and your heart and your soul and your mind daily. It's not a single moment, like a magic trick. It's ongoing, a process, a brutal commitment that must be remade daily, where one lets themselves be loved deeply and fully and passionately.
I have found that love is the greatest weapon we will ever have, because it is love that truly changes people. Love truly transforms a human, from the inside out, heart and soul and mind and body. Love heals the past and gives hope for possibilities. I don't remember words or sermons, or specific scriptures, but I remember when people let me cry on their shoulders, or when they gave me rides home, or when they sat and had conversations for hours and hours and let my heart beat wildly. I remember hugs and prayers and laughter because that's the real stuff in life. That's the God stuff. You can't buy it and you can't exchange it, because it's true and deep and it wrecks you. Forever.
I know that I have been transformed. Here is the deepest truth that I carry around in my heart: I am loved and pursued by the maker of the freakin' universe. And it has changed me and saved me and I'll never have to be what I know I was supposed to be. And I know it. Oh, how I know it. It lives in my heart and it's making me new and beautiful everyday. I'm thankful.
I've been hit in the head with this word many times over the last few months. The first was in reading this passage, only to hear it again that night in a world religions class, and again the next day at a concert to raise awareness for human trafficking and child prostitution. All three times, God spoke the same message into my heart: Am I worth changing for?
The obvious answer in my head is "Of course, Jesus." But if I think about it, is my life really different? Have I really been transformed, or am I just parading around in sheep's clothing?
I keep coming back to God's promise in Ecclesiastes, that He makes everything beautiful in its time. I think that's what it means to be transformed. When you love Jesus enough to let him wash your feet and your heart and your soul and your mind daily. It's not a single moment, like a magic trick. It's ongoing, a process, a brutal commitment that must be remade daily, where one lets themselves be loved deeply and fully and passionately.
I have found that love is the greatest weapon we will ever have, because it is love that truly changes people. Love truly transforms a human, from the inside out, heart and soul and mind and body. Love heals the past and gives hope for possibilities. I don't remember words or sermons, or specific scriptures, but I remember when people let me cry on their shoulders, or when they gave me rides home, or when they sat and had conversations for hours and hours and let my heart beat wildly. I remember hugs and prayers and laughter because that's the real stuff in life. That's the God stuff. You can't buy it and you can't exchange it, because it's true and deep and it wrecks you. Forever.
I know that I have been transformed. Here is the deepest truth that I carry around in my heart: I am loved and pursued by the maker of the freakin' universe. And it has changed me and saved me and I'll never have to be what I know I was supposed to be. And I know it. Oh, how I know it. It lives in my heart and it's making me new and beautiful everyday. I'm thankful.
21 August 2011
wisdom teeth
I got all four wisdom teeth pulled on Thursday, and this is the worst/best day of the whole process. I woke up this morning feeling super nauseous, and made myself eat some real food today (mac n cheese!) and since then, I've been on the upswing. I'll be glad when all of this medicine and pain is out of my body. Not a pleasant experience, although I have enjoyed relaxing and not feeling guilty about resting.
Also, SCHOOL STARTS TUESDAY! super stoked. :)
Also, SCHOOL STARTS TUESDAY! super stoked. :)
14 August 2011
Who is like the Lord?
7 He raises the poor from the dust
and lifts the needy from the ash heap, 8 to make them sit with princes,
with the princes of his people.
psalm 113
"So we will find you in the streets
And we will find you in the prisons
And even in our Bibles and churches
Who is like the Lord
The maker of the heavens
Who dwells with the poor
He lifts them from the ashes
And He seats them among princes
Who is like the Lord
We cannot contain, cannot contain
The glory of your name
Who is like the Lord
You took me from the ashes
And you healed me from my blindness
Who is like the Lord"
//Cannot Keep You by Gungor
God. My heart hurts a lot. But I know you've got this.
and lifts the needy from the ash heap, 8 to make them sit with princes,
with the princes of his people.
psalm 113
"So we will find you in the streets
And we will find you in the prisons
And even in our Bibles and churches
Who is like the Lord
The maker of the heavens
Who dwells with the poor
He lifts them from the ashes
And He seats them among princes
Who is like the Lord
We cannot contain, cannot contain
The glory of your name
Who is like the Lord
You took me from the ashes
And you healed me from my blindness
Who is like the Lord"
//Cannot Keep You by Gungor
God. My heart hurts a lot. But I know you've got this.
Fill me up, God
I just have to say, United Pursuit Band is making some soul music right now. As in, it's good for my soul.
Love it. Thanks, Jesus.
Love it. Thanks, Jesus.
12 August 2011
So I surrender to the sweetest love...
rolling over me.
I wish that I wrote more. I wish I was more profound or eloquent or inspired. I haven't written in ages, because I feel like I have nothing to write about these days. What's there to say? I miss the boys. I miss the stars in Jaibon. I miss my friends who became my family. I miss everything that comes with the rhythm of God's heartbeat when you walk His footsteps in another country. I miss feeling bigger than my skin could contain because that's what God does when He moves in you like that, and I miss the way my tongue rolled on the roof of my mouth when I spoke in the most beautiful language God ever created.
I miss my heart.
I've been told lately that I should be serving wherever I am. It's hard when I am still learning how to function here. When I know with everything in me that this is not where I am supposed to be forever, but I am also sure that this is where I am supposed to be now. I hate the big picture. I want to go now. I want to be gone, doing the work that God and I dream of doing.
I know that I have lost sight of what matters most. I know that it is my nature to get caught up the work itself, instead of who I am working for. I see that God is stripping me of what I hide behind. What keeps me safe.
But I don't know who I am anymore. I'm not the church girl. I'm not the Dominican girl. The Africa girl. God has turned my life on its head in the last year and as much fun as that sounds, I'm so exhausted. And lost. And sad. And I am trying so hard not to be any of those things, that it just makes it worse.
I'm grasping at air so that I don't have to stand naked before You. But that's silly, isn't it? You already know me. You already knew me. It's done. I need my head and my heart to have a once-and-for-all conversation. Because I understand it in my brain, but my heart is slow to receive.
My heart doesn't have a choice in this. That's good, because if it did, it wouldn't think about growing anymore, and then it would tucker out and die soon, because that's the track I was on. God knows my heart better than I do, and I know He is chiseling it, sculpting it, tossing it in the fire and refining it because that's what needs to happen for me to be able to do all of this right. God's in the business of loving people until it hurts, and I'm in the business of following God. I see it. I surrender to it. I don't have a choice.
You're making me new.
I wish that I wrote more. I wish I was more profound or eloquent or inspired. I haven't written in ages, because I feel like I have nothing to write about these days. What's there to say? I miss the boys. I miss the stars in Jaibon. I miss my friends who became my family. I miss everything that comes with the rhythm of God's heartbeat when you walk His footsteps in another country. I miss feeling bigger than my skin could contain because that's what God does when He moves in you like that, and I miss the way my tongue rolled on the roof of my mouth when I spoke in the most beautiful language God ever created.
I miss my heart.
I've been told lately that I should be serving wherever I am. It's hard when I am still learning how to function here. When I know with everything in me that this is not where I am supposed to be forever, but I am also sure that this is where I am supposed to be now. I hate the big picture. I want to go now. I want to be gone, doing the work that God and I dream of doing.
I know that I have lost sight of what matters most. I know that it is my nature to get caught up the work itself, instead of who I am working for. I see that God is stripping me of what I hide behind. What keeps me safe.
But I don't know who I am anymore. I'm not the church girl. I'm not the Dominican girl. The Africa girl. God has turned my life on its head in the last year and as much fun as that sounds, I'm so exhausted. And lost. And sad. And I am trying so hard not to be any of those things, that it just makes it worse.
I'm grasping at air so that I don't have to stand naked before You. But that's silly, isn't it? You already know me. You already knew me. It's done. I need my head and my heart to have a once-and-for-all conversation. Because I understand it in my brain, but my heart is slow to receive.
My heart doesn't have a choice in this. That's good, because if it did, it wouldn't think about growing anymore, and then it would tucker out and die soon, because that's the track I was on. God knows my heart better than I do, and I know He is chiseling it, sculpting it, tossing it in the fire and refining it because that's what needs to happen for me to be able to do all of this right. God's in the business of loving people until it hurts, and I'm in the business of following God. I see it. I surrender to it. I don't have a choice.
You're making me new.
August 7, 2010
Hi friends!
We are starting our last week here in La Republica Dominicana. I am sad beyond words every time I think about leaving these boys and this place. But we are going to have a great last week here, I am sure of it.
Tuesday night, Amanda and I went down to visit the boys along with our friend Nathan. I sat down on the ground and held Luis Alberto in my lap, because he was on the verge of fighting and was freaking out a little. Amanda sat down a few minutes later with a nearly-asleep Remi. About an hour later, we had almost every single boy laying on us in some form or another. Lorenzo was on my right leg, Galan on my left, Luis Alberto in my lap, Alex on my right side, and Manuel laid to my left. I told the kids I had a mountain of children, and they asked if they were my sons. I told them yes, we are family forever. And they all agreed. We laid back and watched the stars together (the stars are amazing here) and Jose and I saw a shooting star together. Amanda and I agreed, it was one of the greatest nights of our lives. Something so small and simple, but it was a glimpse of what it is going to be like for all of us in Heaven. We'll just get to hang out together in a big heap and revel in God's love and majesty. As family.
This past week, we had activities in the morning with the boys here, and in the afternoon we did a camp in a town called Damajagua. Then, on Thursday, we got to have the BEST best Thursday ever with the boys!
Here's the story behind the BEST best Thursday ever: 5 weeks ago, we had planned to take the boys here to the beach, and the day before, it rained. It was decided that it wasn't safe to drive down (the roads are not in great condition anyway, and the rain makes it worse) at 10:30 the night before. John, the director here, said, "Okay guys, the boys are bummed they can't go to the beach. Make this the BEST Thursday ever... GO!" All the interns/volunteers stayed up extra late and planned what ended up being a really good best Thursday ever, complete with sumo wrestling matches on mattresses and a mass game of capture the flag. The NEXT Thursday, we planned to go to the beach, and AGAIN, it rained the day before. AGAIN, we had to plan the BEST Thursday ever... and this one was again, complete with Capture the Flag and a bunch of fun skits and a movie for the boys. It was awesome, but we were not excited to try and top it.
This past Wednesday, all of the leaders here told us that we wouldn't have camp on Thursday, and on Wednesday night, they announced officially that we were GOING to the beach!!! It was AMAZING! We were excited, the boys were excited! We got up at 5:45am the next morning, and already we could hear boys talking excitedly outside. We packed on our buses, and every single boy had his head glued out the window (they rarely get to leave the orphanage because safety issues) and when we got to the beach, they dove right in. It was AWESOME! We spent the whole day playing with them, and I buried 10 different kids in the sand. I also carried a 12 year old on my shoulders. And I'm sunburned, but every second was worth it, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. The only thing I would change, would be that I wish all of our intern friends who left recently could have been there with us. It was pretty epic. I missed you all.
Yesterday, we went to Santo Domingo (the capitol) and it was beautiful. We visited the oldest church in the Western Hemisphere, ate at the Hard Rock cafe, and Amanda and I were able to get some pretty cool gifts for people back home. We also got to stop at McDonald's in Santiago, and I ate a Kit Kat McFlurry which was LEGIT, just saying.
In 7 days we will be back in the US. It sounds surreal to say that, and I am not ready to leave. This place has become like home to me, and these boys like family. We ask for your prayer for endurance and strength for each one of us as we finish this part of the race, and I pray specifically for my heart, as I tend to be not so great at goodbyes. Pray for these boys, whom I love like brothers with every piece of my being. Pray for our interns and volunteers. Pray for safe travels. But mostly, pray that Jesus is shown through everything. Pray that God is glorified in every action, in every word, in every breath. I have seen Jesus in a new way, through the smiles of these boys, through the hugs, and the laughter we share together that goes beyond language and skin color and age. Pray that all of this takes root, and pray that the potential that exists in these boys would continue to be released every day. My friend, Lolito, says that he will be a doctor someday, and if I need surgery, I should come to Haiti and visit. Then again, he told everyone else he wants to be a pastor. :)
Todo de mi amor,
Marissa
We are starting our last week here in La Republica Dominicana. I am sad beyond words every time I think about leaving these boys and this place. But we are going to have a great last week here, I am sure of it.
Tuesday night, Amanda and I went down to visit the boys along with our friend Nathan. I sat down on the ground and held Luis Alberto in my lap, because he was on the verge of fighting and was freaking out a little. Amanda sat down a few minutes later with a nearly-asleep Remi. About an hour later, we had almost every single boy laying on us in some form or another. Lorenzo was on my right leg, Galan on my left, Luis Alberto in my lap, Alex on my right side, and Manuel laid to my left. I told the kids I had a mountain of children, and they asked if they were my sons. I told them yes, we are family forever. And they all agreed. We laid back and watched the stars together (the stars are amazing here) and Jose and I saw a shooting star together. Amanda and I agreed, it was one of the greatest nights of our lives. Something so small and simple, but it was a glimpse of what it is going to be like for all of us in Heaven. We'll just get to hang out together in a big heap and revel in God's love and majesty. As family.
This past week, we had activities in the morning with the boys here, and in the afternoon we did a camp in a town called Damajagua. Then, on Thursday, we got to have the BEST best Thursday ever with the boys!
Here's the story behind the BEST best Thursday ever: 5 weeks ago, we had planned to take the boys here to the beach, and the day before, it rained. It was decided that it wasn't safe to drive down (the roads are not in great condition anyway, and the rain makes it worse) at 10:30 the night before. John, the director here, said, "Okay guys, the boys are bummed they can't go to the beach. Make this the BEST Thursday ever... GO!" All the interns/volunteers stayed up extra late and planned what ended up being a really good best Thursday ever, complete with sumo wrestling matches on mattresses and a mass game of capture the flag. The NEXT Thursday, we planned to go to the beach, and AGAIN, it rained the day before. AGAIN, we had to plan the BEST Thursday ever... and this one was again, complete with Capture the Flag and a bunch of fun skits and a movie for the boys. It was awesome, but we were not excited to try and top it.
This past Wednesday, all of the leaders here told us that we wouldn't have camp on Thursday, and on Wednesday night, they announced officially that we were GOING to the beach!!! It was AMAZING! We were excited, the boys were excited! We got up at 5:45am the next morning, and already we could hear boys talking excitedly outside. We packed on our buses, and every single boy had his head glued out the window (they rarely get to leave the orphanage because safety issues) and when we got to the beach, they dove right in. It was AWESOME! We spent the whole day playing with them, and I buried 10 different kids in the sand. I also carried a 12 year old on my shoulders. And I'm sunburned, but every second was worth it, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. The only thing I would change, would be that I wish all of our intern friends who left recently could have been there with us. It was pretty epic. I missed you all.
Yesterday, we went to Santo Domingo (the capitol) and it was beautiful. We visited the oldest church in the Western Hemisphere, ate at the Hard Rock cafe, and Amanda and I were able to get some pretty cool gifts for people back home. We also got to stop at McDonald's in Santiago, and I ate a Kit Kat McFlurry which was LEGIT, just saying.
In 7 days we will be back in the US. It sounds surreal to say that, and I am not ready to leave. This place has become like home to me, and these boys like family. We ask for your prayer for endurance and strength for each one of us as we finish this part of the race, and I pray specifically for my heart, as I tend to be not so great at goodbyes. Pray for these boys, whom I love like brothers with every piece of my being. Pray for our interns and volunteers. Pray for safe travels. But mostly, pray that Jesus is shown through everything. Pray that God is glorified in every action, in every word, in every breath. I have seen Jesus in a new way, through the smiles of these boys, through the hugs, and the laughter we share together that goes beyond language and skin color and age. Pray that all of this takes root, and pray that the potential that exists in these boys would continue to be released every day. My friend, Lolito, says that he will be a doctor someday, and if I need surgery, I should come to Haiti and visit. Then again, he told everyone else he wants to be a pastor. :)
Todo de mi amor,
Marissa
July 31, 2010
hola amigos!
We just finished our 5th week in Jaibon (6th week in the DR) and we are all doing really well! I just wanted to send a quick update, and let you all know that we are alive, and having an amazing time! I cannot believe we only have 2 weeks left! It feels like we just got here, but then again, it feels like forever ago saying goodbye to Ashley and Aliayh at the airport in LA. I wish you all could be here with us, to meet these amazing boys here in Jaibon that we get to hang out with everyday. I learn so much from them every time I walk down the dirt path to see them. Today, we had a rap battle, and Imanol and I were beatboxing and scatting. We got all of the Americanos to rap, and I must say, it was amazing. I love that there are things that go beyond language here. We may not understand a word they are saying, and they may not understand us, but we can all still laugh and play together. God is THAT good.
I want to send out a special message to my friends who like to talk with God. I ask that you would pray for these boys here. Pray for guidance and wisdom for each one of them. I cannot begin to understand what they have gone through in their lives, but I cannot begin to comprehend what God is going to do through them. God has already opened doors for me to share my story and my life with some of these boys here, and I am overwhelmed that I get to be a speck in their existence. It is amazing to literally be the hands and feet of Jesus, and yet everyday, I feel like He is hanging on my back whenever I am carrying around Luis Alberto. I feel Jesus in the hugs of Chipa and Manuel, and I hear Jesus whenever Imanol sings. (I especially see it in the temper tantrums and fist fights.)
My heart is here in Jaibon with these boys. I cannot explain the love I feel for this place, for the kids here, for this organization, and for the amazing leaders who work so hard everyday. I have learned tremendous things about life, myself, and God while being here, and very little came from reading a book, or having a conversation. It has come from being able to walk with Jesus everyday when I walk down the path to see my boys. It has come from giving every ounce of love I have in my body in the hopes that there is a better life waiting for them. It has come from watching Lorenzo, Jimmy, Jose, Eduardo and other boys learn English, so that an immense number of job opportunities will await them when they graduate. It has come from teaching these boys and the kids in the community about the Jesus that I know and I love. These things cannot be taught through sermons and books. These things are taught through touching the face of Jesus when you touch the face of these boys. I am honored and blessed and in awe of God's grace, beauty and glory that is present in the faces of these boys.
I ask that you would pray for our boys here. Pray for Jimmy, Lorenzo, Lolito (or Locolito, as I call him!) Christian and Jonel, the Haitians who have stolen Amanda's heart (and mine, too.) Pray for Jimmy as I tutor him in English, and Amanda as she starts tutoring Lorenzo. Pray for Jeffrey and Remi, two new boys who started living here this week. Pray for Eduardo, Luis, Carlos, Reynaldo, Jose, Chipa, Frenchie, Ramon, Galan, Dani, Gregory, Fautico, Walki, Imanol, Dorian, Andres, Manuel, Alex, and Luis Alberto. My brothers. My heart. I love them with everything in me.
Gracias por todos, mis amigos. We love you.
Mariss
P.S. Can someone get Collin back here?
We just finished our 5th week in Jaibon (6th week in the DR) and we are all doing really well! I just wanted to send a quick update, and let you all know that we are alive, and having an amazing time! I cannot believe we only have 2 weeks left! It feels like we just got here, but then again, it feels like forever ago saying goodbye to Ashley and Aliayh at the airport in LA. I wish you all could be here with us, to meet these amazing boys here in Jaibon that we get to hang out with everyday. I learn so much from them every time I walk down the dirt path to see them. Today, we had a rap battle, and Imanol and I were beatboxing and scatting. We got all of the Americanos to rap, and I must say, it was amazing. I love that there are things that go beyond language here. We may not understand a word they are saying, and they may not understand us, but we can all still laugh and play together. God is THAT good.
I want to send out a special message to my friends who like to talk with God. I ask that you would pray for these boys here. Pray for guidance and wisdom for each one of them. I cannot begin to understand what they have gone through in their lives, but I cannot begin to comprehend what God is going to do through them. God has already opened doors for me to share my story and my life with some of these boys here, and I am overwhelmed that I get to be a speck in their existence. It is amazing to literally be the hands and feet of Jesus, and yet everyday, I feel like He is hanging on my back whenever I am carrying around Luis Alberto. I feel Jesus in the hugs of Chipa and Manuel, and I hear Jesus whenever Imanol sings. (I especially see it in the temper tantrums and fist fights.)
My heart is here in Jaibon with these boys. I cannot explain the love I feel for this place, for the kids here, for this organization, and for the amazing leaders who work so hard everyday. I have learned tremendous things about life, myself, and God while being here, and very little came from reading a book, or having a conversation. It has come from being able to walk with Jesus everyday when I walk down the path to see my boys. It has come from giving every ounce of love I have in my body in the hopes that there is a better life waiting for them. It has come from watching Lorenzo, Jimmy, Jose, Eduardo and other boys learn English, so that an immense number of job opportunities will await them when they graduate. It has come from teaching these boys and the kids in the community about the Jesus that I know and I love. These things cannot be taught through sermons and books. These things are taught through touching the face of Jesus when you touch the face of these boys. I am honored and blessed and in awe of God's grace, beauty and glory that is present in the faces of these boys.
I ask that you would pray for our boys here. Pray for Jimmy, Lorenzo, Lolito (or Locolito, as I call him!) Christian and Jonel, the Haitians who have stolen Amanda's heart (and mine, too.) Pray for Jimmy as I tutor him in English, and Amanda as she starts tutoring Lorenzo. Pray for Jeffrey and Remi, two new boys who started living here this week. Pray for Eduardo, Luis, Carlos, Reynaldo, Jose, Chipa, Frenchie, Ramon, Galan, Dani, Gregory, Fautico, Walki, Imanol, Dorian, Andres, Manuel, Alex, and Luis Alberto. My brothers. My heart. I love them with everything in me.
Gracias por todos, mis amigos. We love you.
Mariss
P.S. Can someone get Collin back here?
July 24, 2010
Hi everyoneeee!!!
Well, it's another lazy Saturday here in Jaibon! Matthew is at the airport picking up new interns, Amanda is playing with the boys at the orphanage, and I am here writing. We have officially been in the DR for 5 weeks now! Time flies by so fast here, I feel like it was just Sunday, and now we have said goodbye to so many volunteers (we had 102 Americanos here this week!) and more than half of our interns. It is bittersweet, to say goodbye to people. We have only known each other for 5 weeks at the most, but it feels like we are the best of friends, because we spend so much of our time together. We have become like family, and I can honestly say that my experience would not be the same if even one person was not here.
These past couple of weeks have been crazy here. We spent the last few weeks doing our normal routine of camps out in the community in the morning and afternoon, and spending most of our free time with the boys here at the orphanage. This week, with all of our volunteers, our schedule has been a little different this week. We split up into 3 groups, and in the morning, we went to three different campsites in Jaibon or the neighboring city of Laguna Salada. But in the afternoon, we spent one day here with the boys, and another day at camp, and a third day at a batey in the community. A batey is another word for a village or community. Today, Amanda and I had the privilege of going to a Haitian refugee batey, where the community consisted entirely of illegal immigrants from Haiti. We held more naked children than I ever thought possible, and we fell in love with every single child. One child, whom I lovingly named naked-crayon-eating-Godzilla ate crayons and was naked and destroyed everything. The only words that came out of his mouth all afternoon were “cana” which I took to mean “Americana.” I walked over to where my friend and fellow intern, Laura was holding a precious Haitian baby girl. I noticed that Laura was crying, and she said that she had been singing “Jesus Loves Me” and she said that it meant something new and different standing in that village holding those children. Just then, a little boy came up to me and lifted his arms up to me like he wanted me to hold him. He was also naked, and had something white caked on his forearms, which I took to be flour or something of that nature. I picked him up and he wrapped his arms around me so tightly, and the feeling that came next was completely indescribable. I looked around and saw the children being loved on, and this one boy who was in my arms, and I knew why Laura had been crying. I started to cry myself. Amanda said it best tonight. She says that when we drive up to this orphanage or when we get off the bus at places like that batey, it feels like we are coming home. I don’t want to be anywhere else, and if I had my choice, Amanda and I would still be at that batey, holding those babies. (Needless to say, Amanda and I both had babies fall asleep on us today at the batey. Baby whisperers, just saying.)
I wish that you all could be here to meet the boys here at the orphanage and the kids that we have encountered at camps in the community or at that batey. I wish you could see Jimmy and Lorenzo smile and speak in Creole, and laugh at Lolito when he gets excited around all the Americanos. I wish you could take a nap with Jonel and laugh at Luis Alberto, Alex, and Manuel when their pants fall down. I wish you could see Fautico’s smile when you call his name, and listen to Jose play guitar, or get a hug from Chipa. I love these boys here more than words can express, more than my own life, and I want them to have the best life possible. I want them to know that they are loved and that they matter. They matter to me, and they sure as heck matter to God. And if you were here, I would want you to come to camp one day and listen to the Banana Song. Because nobody goes bananas like the kids in the DR.
Please say prayers for our team for energy and strength and perseverance these next couple of weeks. Pray for Amanda’s Spanish. And of course, our tummies. Pray for safe travel for our friends who are flying home Saturday. And pray for our babies here at the orphanage. Pray for them everyday.
ALSO! We have 3 more weeks here, but if you'd like to send some mail (we love mail here and I haven't gotten any yet!) that would be AWESOME! The address is
Our name
Hogar De Esperanza de los Ninos
Orphanage Outreach
Calle Altagracia #80
Monte Cristi, Dominican Republic
Please keep in mind it takes about 2 weeks for anything to get here, and we have to pay for big packages. But if you have some free time in the next few mins, send us a letter! They make us feel special!
Well, it's another lazy Saturday here in Jaibon! Matthew is at the airport picking up new interns, Amanda is playing with the boys at the orphanage, and I am here writing. We have officially been in the DR for 5 weeks now! Time flies by so fast here, I feel like it was just Sunday, and now we have said goodbye to so many volunteers (we had 102 Americanos here this week!) and more than half of our interns. It is bittersweet, to say goodbye to people. We have only known each other for 5 weeks at the most, but it feels like we are the best of friends, because we spend so much of our time together. We have become like family, and I can honestly say that my experience would not be the same if even one person was not here.
These past couple of weeks have been crazy here. We spent the last few weeks doing our normal routine of camps out in the community in the morning and afternoon, and spending most of our free time with the boys here at the orphanage. This week, with all of our volunteers, our schedule has been a little different this week. We split up into 3 groups, and in the morning, we went to three different campsites in Jaibon or the neighboring city of Laguna Salada. But in the afternoon, we spent one day here with the boys, and another day at camp, and a third day at a batey in the community. A batey is another word for a village or community. Today, Amanda and I had the privilege of going to a Haitian refugee batey, where the community consisted entirely of illegal immigrants from Haiti. We held more naked children than I ever thought possible, and we fell in love with every single child. One child, whom I lovingly named naked-crayon-eating-Godzilla ate crayons and was naked and destroyed everything. The only words that came out of his mouth all afternoon were “cana” which I took to mean “Americana.” I walked over to where my friend and fellow intern, Laura was holding a precious Haitian baby girl. I noticed that Laura was crying, and she said that she had been singing “Jesus Loves Me” and she said that it meant something new and different standing in that village holding those children. Just then, a little boy came up to me and lifted his arms up to me like he wanted me to hold him. He was also naked, and had something white caked on his forearms, which I took to be flour or something of that nature. I picked him up and he wrapped his arms around me so tightly, and the feeling that came next was completely indescribable. I looked around and saw the children being loved on, and this one boy who was in my arms, and I knew why Laura had been crying. I started to cry myself. Amanda said it best tonight. She says that when we drive up to this orphanage or when we get off the bus at places like that batey, it feels like we are coming home. I don’t want to be anywhere else, and if I had my choice, Amanda and I would still be at that batey, holding those babies. (Needless to say, Amanda and I both had babies fall asleep on us today at the batey. Baby whisperers, just saying.)
I wish that you all could be here to meet the boys here at the orphanage and the kids that we have encountered at camps in the community or at that batey. I wish you could see Jimmy and Lorenzo smile and speak in Creole, and laugh at Lolito when he gets excited around all the Americanos. I wish you could take a nap with Jonel and laugh at Luis Alberto, Alex, and Manuel when their pants fall down. I wish you could see Fautico’s smile when you call his name, and listen to Jose play guitar, or get a hug from Chipa. I love these boys here more than words can express, more than my own life, and I want them to have the best life possible. I want them to know that they are loved and that they matter. They matter to me, and they sure as heck matter to God. And if you were here, I would want you to come to camp one day and listen to the Banana Song. Because nobody goes bananas like the kids in the DR.
Please say prayers for our team for energy and strength and perseverance these next couple of weeks. Pray for Amanda’s Spanish. And of course, our tummies. Pray for safe travel for our friends who are flying home Saturday. And pray for our babies here at the orphanage. Pray for them everyday.
ALSO! We have 3 more weeks here, but if you'd like to send some mail (we love mail here and I haven't gotten any yet!) that would be AWESOME! The address is
Our name
Hogar De Esperanza de los Ninos
Orphanage Outreach
Calle Altagracia #80
Monte Cristi, Dominican Republic
Please keep in mind it takes about 2 weeks for anything to get here, and we have to pay for big packages. But if you have some free time in the next few mins, send us a letter! They make us feel special!
July 3, 2010
Hey everyone!
We have officially been in the DR for two weeks! Holy cow, time is flying by SO fast! So much has already happened, and it’s SUCH an adventure to be here.
We left Thursday, June 17, and at our stop at In n Out in Kettleman City (the best In n Out in the world), Ashey, Aliayh and Amanda surprised us (Matthew and I) with tickets to Disneyland for that evening! Best surprise ever? I think so. We only got to ride a few rides that night, but we went back to Disneyland Friday morning before we headed to the airport. We rode Space Mountain, Splash Mountain, Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, Matterhorn (twice) and Tower of Terror. When we finally got to LAX Friday afternoon, after a tearful goodbye, we boarded our plane to New York. After a 5 hour flight, we landed in JFK at around 11pm. We ate some super expensive McDonald’s and decided to take a taxi cab to Times Square, because we might only ever be in New York once, so we might as well do it, right? Our AWESOME cab driver was going to charge us $90 roundtrip, and started driving before we could tell him that we didn’t have that kind of money. We ended up cutting a sweet deal: $9 for a ride around the airport.
We spent the night on the floor at JFK which is not as fun as it sounds, and woke up at 5am to board our plane. It left 3 hours late, and by early afternoon, Saturday, we FINALLY arrived in Santiago. I was struck with heat the second I left the plane, but we were just so excited to be here, we didn’t care. As we came down the escalator, we saw people in OO shirts, and we knew that this was ACTUALLY happening.
We boarded a bus to Monte Cristi, and after 2 hours, finally arrived at our home for the next week. We all stayed in a ramada, which is simply some chain link fence material, with plywood around the perimeter and a tin roof. Picture a giant censor screen, and that’s what it was. Only fence material on the top and bottom thirds of the walls, so plenty of bugs tried to snuggle with us last week. We definitely found a giant wolf spider in the other girl’s ramada. I made friends with a cockroach.
We spent last week in Monte Cristi putting on a major VBS camp for over 500 children from the community. We held the camp at the orphanage/our volunteer space, Monday through Thursday during the morning. Amanda and I were on the arts and crafts team, and Matthew did snacks. It was interesting to kind of sit back and watch how things are supposed to run, but my favorite part was watching the children sing silly songs with motions like “Cadadia” (Spanish version of “Everyday” by Hillsong) and the Banana song (new fave!). It fills my heart with complete joy to see kids jumping and singing, and to see our twenty-something year old volunteers jumping right along with them.
I don’t begin to believe that I will matter to any of these kids. In fact, my prayer is that the kids we come in contact with would not remember my name or my face, but that they would simply see Jesus and remember HIS face. It’s a tough prayer, but we are constantly being reminded that this adventure is NOT about us. It’s not about our love, or our energy, or what we think we are capable of. We know that God has called us to be here. So it doesn’t matter what I think of myself, or the kids or this place. What matters is that these children and these people need to know the love of God, and it is my job to show them to the best of my ability. It’s sort of beautiful, to be used by God in such a way. It also helps that these kids are amazing and beautiful.
We have officially been in the DR for two weeks! Holy cow, time is flying by SO fast! So much has already happened, and it’s SUCH an adventure to be here.
We left Thursday, June 17, and at our stop at In n Out in Kettleman City (the best In n Out in the world), Ashey, Aliayh and Amanda surprised us (Matthew and I) with tickets to Disneyland for that evening! Best surprise ever? I think so. We only got to ride a few rides that night, but we went back to Disneyland Friday morning before we headed to the airport. We rode Space Mountain, Splash Mountain, Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, Matterhorn (twice) and Tower of Terror. When we finally got to LAX Friday afternoon, after a tearful goodbye, we boarded our plane to New York. After a 5 hour flight, we landed in JFK at around 11pm. We ate some super expensive McDonald’s and decided to take a taxi cab to Times Square, because we might only ever be in New York once, so we might as well do it, right? Our AWESOME cab driver was going to charge us $90 roundtrip, and started driving before we could tell him that we didn’t have that kind of money. We ended up cutting a sweet deal: $9 for a ride around the airport.
We spent the night on the floor at JFK which is not as fun as it sounds, and woke up at 5am to board our plane. It left 3 hours late, and by early afternoon, Saturday, we FINALLY arrived in Santiago. I was struck with heat the second I left the plane, but we were just so excited to be here, we didn’t care. As we came down the escalator, we saw people in OO shirts, and we knew that this was ACTUALLY happening.
We boarded a bus to Monte Cristi, and after 2 hours, finally arrived at our home for the next week. We all stayed in a ramada, which is simply some chain link fence material, with plywood around the perimeter and a tin roof. Picture a giant censor screen, and that’s what it was. Only fence material on the top and bottom thirds of the walls, so plenty of bugs tried to snuggle with us last week. We definitely found a giant wolf spider in the other girl’s ramada. I made friends with a cockroach.
We spent last week in Monte Cristi putting on a major VBS camp for over 500 children from the community. We held the camp at the orphanage/our volunteer space, Monday through Thursday during the morning. Amanda and I were on the arts and crafts team, and Matthew did snacks. It was interesting to kind of sit back and watch how things are supposed to run, but my favorite part was watching the children sing silly songs with motions like “Cadadia” (Spanish version of “Everyday” by Hillsong) and the Banana song (new fave!). It fills my heart with complete joy to see kids jumping and singing, and to see our twenty-something year old volunteers jumping right along with them.
I don’t begin to believe that I will matter to any of these kids. In fact, my prayer is that the kids we come in contact with would not remember my name or my face, but that they would simply see Jesus and remember HIS face. It’s a tough prayer, but we are constantly being reminded that this adventure is NOT about us. It’s not about our love, or our energy, or what we think we are capable of. We know that God has called us to be here. So it doesn’t matter what I think of myself, or the kids or this place. What matters is that these children and these people need to know the love of God, and it is my job to show them to the best of my ability. It’s sort of beautiful, to be used by God in such a way. It also helps that these kids are amazing and beautiful.
Last Saturday, we drove to Jaibon, our new home until August. Jaibon is so much different than Monte Cristi. We have actual BUILDINGS for our dorms, and mattresses to sleep on! It feels much hotter, dryer, and stickier here, and there are much more mosquitos and flies. But, it’s definitely feeling like home for us. Matthew sleeps in a tent with his new BFF, Collin.
This past week, we received new interns, and now the total number of volunteers who are giving up at least a month of their time is at 25 (and we are getting two new ones today!). I find that fact incredible in itself; that so many young people are willing to give up their time and energy and efforts to come here in hopes of glorifying God and making a difference.
This week, we split up into two teams putting on two separate camps at separate places, Amanda, Matthew and I were on one team with a church group from CO and a couple of other interns here, and I was part of the Bible team, while Matthew did recreation and Amanda did crafts. It was exciting for all of us to do something different and separate from each other and get to know new people. We planned and prepared for our camp in the morning, which only had maybe 60 kids altogether throughout the course of the week. We thought that it would be the same number at our camp in the afternoon at Esperanza. We were wrong.
Our bus arrived Monday afternoon at a school in a town called Esperanza. We stuck our heads out the windows and were greeted with 170 children waiting for us, eager to learn. Amanda was a bit nervous, as she only planned crafts for about 20 kids altogether. But God made a few pieces of paper feed 5,000 and somehow, every kid was able to participate.
This week, I led Bible group, and my job was to take a few heroes of the Bible and get the kids to understand that with Christ, we can do anything. We chose to tell stories about Jesus, David, Paul and Daniel, and by the end of the week, the kids had remembered the stories that we taught them, and the songs that we sang with them, and they UNDERSTOOD the moral of the stories and themes that we had been teaching them. They understood that with a faith in God, we can do anything.
They understood. They remembered. Holy cow.
I am going to write about myself for a second, and if you are still reading up until this point, I am so very grateful. I’m sitting here in Jaibon on a lazy Saturday, and I am in awe of the beauty that is around me. It’s in the greenness of the trees and the grass, the majestic mountains that we see anytime we drive anywhere, and the ocean. Oh, man. The ocean. If there wasn’t evidence to God’s glory all around me in this country, then it has been proven to me this week through the faces of these children. These beautiful, amazing, wonderful children.
I remember sitting in California before getting on the airplane and feeling like something incredible was going to happen. I get to go on a mission trip with my 2 best friends, and I am so blessed to even have this opportunity. To even be here. To be called to something this amazing. But I remember all the things we were scared of before we left. I remember wondering if I would get sick, or if the kids would remember my name. I know Amanda was worried about Spanish, and we all worry about our families and our lives back home.
But the incredible thing, is that none of those things matter to me anymore. It doesn’t matter that I am consistently sweating and exhausted and feeling sick to my stomach. Everyday, precisely when I need it, I am filled with the energy to fulfill my duties, and the joy that I find somehow radiating through me has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with me as a person, and everything to do with my desire to see people know and love Jesus. I have known what it is to be left behind by people who are supposed to love you. I have known what it is like to feel small and insignificant, and to be a failure. I notice so many of those feelings in the children here. Jesus changed my life. Jesus made me whole again. Jesus showed me what it was like to love a real love and be loved a real love in return. I completely and wholly believe that we can visit developing countries and throw money at all the problems and build buildings and clean up garbage but nothing will ever REALLY change unless people start knowing, loving, and following Jesus. My dream is to see a change in this country through the cause of Christ. Because it will last. And, selfishly, because this way, I’ll get to see everyone again in Heaven.
That is why we are here. It’s taken all of this time for me to really feel whole again. But I feel it here. I feel sick and itchy and sweaty. But I feel like myself. I feel like the person that God has intended me to be. I can’t explain it other than that. But I wish you all could feel it with me. It’s pretty incredible.
Please keep us in your prayers. As much as it really doesn’t matter, it would be nice to feel healthy sometimes, and to be able to get the rest we need. As always, we need protection. We need thick skin and soft hearts. We need knowledge, wisdom, discernment and an ability to translate all of that into Spanish on a regular basis.
And we need an overflow of God’s love. Every second. Everyday.
Love you all SO much. We miss you.
Team DR
PS. In CA, before we left, we were known by everyone at Remedy as the “DR team.” Since we signed up for our trip as “Team Remedy” (because Remedy is the one thing the three of us have in common), we are known HERE as Team Remedy. LOVE IT.
This past week, we received new interns, and now the total number of volunteers who are giving up at least a month of their time is at 25 (and we are getting two new ones today!). I find that fact incredible in itself; that so many young people are willing to give up their time and energy and efforts to come here in hopes of glorifying God and making a difference.
This week, we split up into two teams putting on two separate camps at separate places, Amanda, Matthew and I were on one team with a church group from CO and a couple of other interns here, and I was part of the Bible team, while Matthew did recreation and Amanda did crafts. It was exciting for all of us to do something different and separate from each other and get to know new people. We planned and prepared for our camp in the morning, which only had maybe 60 kids altogether throughout the course of the week. We thought that it would be the same number at our camp in the afternoon at Esperanza. We were wrong.
Our bus arrived Monday afternoon at a school in a town called Esperanza. We stuck our heads out the windows and were greeted with 170 children waiting for us, eager to learn. Amanda was a bit nervous, as she only planned crafts for about 20 kids altogether. But God made a few pieces of paper feed 5,000 and somehow, every kid was able to participate.
This week, I led Bible group, and my job was to take a few heroes of the Bible and get the kids to understand that with Christ, we can do anything. We chose to tell stories about Jesus, David, Paul and Daniel, and by the end of the week, the kids had remembered the stories that we taught them, and the songs that we sang with them, and they UNDERSTOOD the moral of the stories and themes that we had been teaching them. They understood that with a faith in God, we can do anything.
They understood. They remembered. Holy cow.
I am going to write about myself for a second, and if you are still reading up until this point, I am so very grateful. I’m sitting here in Jaibon on a lazy Saturday, and I am in awe of the beauty that is around me. It’s in the greenness of the trees and the grass, the majestic mountains that we see anytime we drive anywhere, and the ocean. Oh, man. The ocean. If there wasn’t evidence to God’s glory all around me in this country, then it has been proven to me this week through the faces of these children. These beautiful, amazing, wonderful children.
I remember sitting in California before getting on the airplane and feeling like something incredible was going to happen. I get to go on a mission trip with my 2 best friends, and I am so blessed to even have this opportunity. To even be here. To be called to something this amazing. But I remember all the things we were scared of before we left. I remember wondering if I would get sick, or if the kids would remember my name. I know Amanda was worried about Spanish, and we all worry about our families and our lives back home.
But the incredible thing, is that none of those things matter to me anymore. It doesn’t matter that I am consistently sweating and exhausted and feeling sick to my stomach. Everyday, precisely when I need it, I am filled with the energy to fulfill my duties, and the joy that I find somehow radiating through me has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with me as a person, and everything to do with my desire to see people know and love Jesus. I have known what it is to be left behind by people who are supposed to love you. I have known what it is like to feel small and insignificant, and to be a failure. I notice so many of those feelings in the children here. Jesus changed my life. Jesus made me whole again. Jesus showed me what it was like to love a real love and be loved a real love in return. I completely and wholly believe that we can visit developing countries and throw money at all the problems and build buildings and clean up garbage but nothing will ever REALLY change unless people start knowing, loving, and following Jesus. My dream is to see a change in this country through the cause of Christ. Because it will last. And, selfishly, because this way, I’ll get to see everyone again in Heaven.
That is why we are here. It’s taken all of this time for me to really feel whole again. But I feel it here. I feel sick and itchy and sweaty. But I feel like myself. I feel like the person that God has intended me to be. I can’t explain it other than that. But I wish you all could feel it with me. It’s pretty incredible.
Please keep us in your prayers. As much as it really doesn’t matter, it would be nice to feel healthy sometimes, and to be able to get the rest we need. As always, we need protection. We need thick skin and soft hearts. We need knowledge, wisdom, discernment and an ability to translate all of that into Spanish on a regular basis.
And we need an overflow of God’s love. Every second. Everyday.
Love you all SO much. We miss you.
Team DR
PS. In CA, before we left, we were known by everyone at Remedy as the “DR team.” Since we signed up for our trip as “Team Remedy” (because Remedy is the one thing the three of us have in common), we are known HERE as Team Remedy. LOVE IT.
22 March 2011
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