It seems I am developing a pattern of writing every other day. I am really hoping I don't run out of things to write about! I don't think I will. I am still inspired and I haven't really left the house much lately (I'm trying to kick this flu/cold thing).
In regards to my last entry, I would like to thank everyone for their prayers and support and encouragement. It is much needed. I'm sorry that I have been complaining so much. I think I got so overwhelmed that I forgot to take a little time to revel in the beauty of this country.
"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?... See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?" (Matthew 6:26, 28-30, NIV)
"Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? All this time and money wasted on fashion—do you think it makes that much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them. If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes." (Matthew 6:27-34 The Message)
In my old, old, old house we had bluejays. I'm usually pretty cool with nature; it's an "I don't bug you, you don't bug me" kind of understanding. But these FREAKIN' bluejays would caw-caw every morning before the sun came up. And it's not like a cordial "chirp-chirp". Those blue jays are like that grandma that is always asking you why you don't have a boyfriend yet. You kind of wish she had a mute button. Or at least a filter or something. I'll just say that I don't invite any birds to my birthday parties, okay?
But then I came to Kenya. And everything is green and beautiful and I wish that you could see the flowers that are growing on the tree right outside my bedroom window. They are orange like fire and sunrises and they grow on top of these flat trees that I call "trampoline trees" because I could imagine myself bouncing on top of them for hours and hours. And the birds chirp like in a Disney movie and I feel like Cinderella or Snow White and there is camaraderie and we are singing and whistling and cleaning or whatever it is they do in those movies. The birds are bluer than the songs they sing, and it's beautiful and simple and pure and I sometimes forget about it because I am so busy thinking about all of the other stuff.
I wonder how it is possible for a country to be so corrupt and malicious and hateful and yet is so absolutely, completely beautiful. So green. I look at the nature around me and the sky when the sun is setting in it's purples and reds and even the lightning storms that look like fireworks and I imagine this is what the Garden of Eden must have been like, only without all the noise and pollution and disease and poverty. I cannot explain how beautiful it is here.
I've been thinking a lot about the Garden of Eden lately and I wonder why God would create something like a garden. God could have created a castle or a Cadillac Escalade or Disneyland. But the first thing he creates for Adam and Eve to live in when everything is complete perfection before all this sin infected our lives.. I'm just wondering why it's a garden. The environment is so fickle, and plants wither and die when you forget to water them for a week on vacation or when you water them too much or when the dog pees in them. Most of us have thumbs that are not green and time that is not to be spent on caring for a potted plant you bought at OSH or Home Depot. And so I'm wondering why God would create this perfect garden, this pure and simple and beautiful garden and say "this is perfect for my perfect son." So why would God make a garden that can so easily shrivel up and die? And why was this the place that God let Adam and Eve live in? I'm sure that God and Adam would take walks in the sunrise and Adam would ask questions or tell jokes and God would laugh and they would have this amazing Savior/Creator/Best Friend kind of relationship. I wonder what it would be like to see God or to hear is voice or laugh with him. That's the kind of stuff that the Garden of Eden makes me think about: this perfect intimacy with God.
I figure, God could have created some sort of insane piece of technology in a millisecond if that's what it took to get us to understand the simple joy in life. But technology is like the opposite of simple. And God is the opposite of technology. However, I don't consider God to be simple. Maybe my theory is off a little bit.
Anyway, I come here and the nature is so tangible and real. And I love it. I look at the birds of the air and how beautiful they are and I think of that verse and I try to comprehend how a God who makes these beautiful birds and these gorgeous flowers could love me more than any of these things and I can't figure it out. I guess I'm not supposed to, right? That's just the way it is around here. And there is no way that this place is even remotely as beautiful as the Garden of Eden. Geeze, what were we thinking...
I think of that bible verse and I've heard it a bazillion times and I've used it to help through all sorts of situations: divorce, death, abandonment, neglect, anger, fear, depression, eviction, heartbreak, sickness. But I never take that verse for what it is: the simplicity of life. It's birds, and flowers and grass and us. Why would God give us a Garden like Eden or a country as beautiful as this one if there was any sort of reason for us to be wanting more than that? I know that cars are convenient and new clothes make us feel good. But are they necessary? No. I think that's what that verse comes down to. Worry is just as unnecessary as the new clothes, or the expensive car or the fancy new cell phone or whatever it is that you think you need.
It all really just comes down to the birds, the flowers, you, me and God. And that's beautiful, don't you think?
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