Hey friends!
What a crazy couple of months. I'm inspired daily by God's amazing love that pours out like water for me, His crazy grace that doesn't see mistakes or pity, and His goodness... oh my gosh, His goodness. I'm learning that rules and words and conviction don't really change people as much as I thought it did; it's love, this unconditional love that prods at your conscience to be better because other people deserve that from you. Because God deserves that from you. ahh, i'm learning something new everyday.
20 April 2012
02 February 2012
resurrection
these past few days have left my heart heavy. i'm overwhelmed by the process of shattering my heart so that it can be rebuilt and made new. again. feels like i'm always doing that. some days, i just want it to stay whole.
but then i remember. his glory is to draw us near to him. god's goal is us. and my goal is him.
i'm tired of being tired all the time. i'm tired of being this messy, misshapen form of a soul that is constantly focused on self-preservation. i'm weary. my heart and soul are heavy.
i need a resurrection.
we will see what february brings. i need the heaviest dose of god's grace i can get, and i need it daily.
god. i need you.
but then i remember. his glory is to draw us near to him. god's goal is us. and my goal is him.
i'm tired of being tired all the time. i'm tired of being this messy, misshapen form of a soul that is constantly focused on self-preservation. i'm weary. my heart and soul are heavy.
i need a resurrection.
we will see what february brings. i need the heaviest dose of god's grace i can get, and i need it daily.
god. i need you.
23 December 2011
26 before 26
Maybe before 2012 is over. Maybe just before I die. mmm, mi vida.
1) go back to the DR
2) go back to Africa
3) go to a new country
4) finish a tube of chapstick
5) see the northern lights
6) get another tattoo
7) watch the sunrise with someone I love
8) see a shooting star with someone I love
9) camp on the beach
10) make s'mores around a fire
11) have a valentine on Valentine's day
12) donate hair to Locks of Love
13) go to an NFL game
14) swim with a dolphin
15) chop down my own christmas tree
16) get rid of all the negativity in my life
17) own a macbook
18) put my feet in the indian ocean
19) snowboard down a trail without falling
20) prepare a thanksgiving dinner on my own
21) run though a field of sunflowers
22) learn fluent spanish
23) bake a batch of perfect cookies
24) get another piercing
25) drive across the country
26) meet a celebrity
1) go back to the DR
2) go back to Africa
3) go to a new country
4) finish a tube of chapstick
5) see the northern lights
6) get another tattoo
7) watch the sunrise with someone I love
8) see a shooting star with someone I love
9) camp on the beach
10) make s'mores around a fire
11) have a valentine on Valentine's day
12) donate hair to Locks of Love
13) go to an NFL game
14) swim with a dolphin
15) chop down my own christmas tree
16) get rid of all the negativity in my life
17) own a macbook
18) put my feet in the indian ocean
19) snowboard down a trail without falling
20) prepare a thanksgiving dinner on my own
21) run though a field of sunflowers
22) learn fluent spanish
23) bake a batch of perfect cookies
24) get another piercing
25) drive across the country
26) meet a celebrity
06 October 2011
transformed
I appeal to you, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:1-2
I've been hit in the head with this word many times over the last few months. The first was in reading this passage, only to hear it again that night in a world religions class, and again the next day at a concert to raise awareness for human trafficking and child prostitution. All three times, God spoke the same message into my heart: Am I worth changing for?
The obvious answer in my head is "Of course, Jesus." But if I think about it, is my life really different? Have I really been transformed, or am I just parading around in sheep's clothing?
I keep coming back to God's promise in Ecclesiastes, that He makes everything beautiful in its time. I think that's what it means to be transformed. When you love Jesus enough to let him wash your feet and your heart and your soul and your mind daily. It's not a single moment, like a magic trick. It's ongoing, a process, a brutal commitment that must be remade daily, where one lets themselves be loved deeply and fully and passionately.
I have found that love is the greatest weapon we will ever have, because it is love that truly changes people. Love truly transforms a human, from the inside out, heart and soul and mind and body. Love heals the past and gives hope for possibilities. I don't remember words or sermons, or specific scriptures, but I remember when people let me cry on their shoulders, or when they gave me rides home, or when they sat and had conversations for hours and hours and let my heart beat wildly. I remember hugs and prayers and laughter because that's the real stuff in life. That's the God stuff. You can't buy it and you can't exchange it, because it's true and deep and it wrecks you. Forever.
I know that I have been transformed. Here is the deepest truth that I carry around in my heart: I am loved and pursued by the maker of the freakin' universe. And it has changed me and saved me and I'll never have to be what I know I was supposed to be. And I know it. Oh, how I know it. It lives in my heart and it's making me new and beautiful everyday. I'm thankful.
I've been hit in the head with this word many times over the last few months. The first was in reading this passage, only to hear it again that night in a world religions class, and again the next day at a concert to raise awareness for human trafficking and child prostitution. All three times, God spoke the same message into my heart: Am I worth changing for?
The obvious answer in my head is "Of course, Jesus." But if I think about it, is my life really different? Have I really been transformed, or am I just parading around in sheep's clothing?
I keep coming back to God's promise in Ecclesiastes, that He makes everything beautiful in its time. I think that's what it means to be transformed. When you love Jesus enough to let him wash your feet and your heart and your soul and your mind daily. It's not a single moment, like a magic trick. It's ongoing, a process, a brutal commitment that must be remade daily, where one lets themselves be loved deeply and fully and passionately.
I have found that love is the greatest weapon we will ever have, because it is love that truly changes people. Love truly transforms a human, from the inside out, heart and soul and mind and body. Love heals the past and gives hope for possibilities. I don't remember words or sermons, or specific scriptures, but I remember when people let me cry on their shoulders, or when they gave me rides home, or when they sat and had conversations for hours and hours and let my heart beat wildly. I remember hugs and prayers and laughter because that's the real stuff in life. That's the God stuff. You can't buy it and you can't exchange it, because it's true and deep and it wrecks you. Forever.
I know that I have been transformed. Here is the deepest truth that I carry around in my heart: I am loved and pursued by the maker of the freakin' universe. And it has changed me and saved me and I'll never have to be what I know I was supposed to be. And I know it. Oh, how I know it. It lives in my heart and it's making me new and beautiful everyday. I'm thankful.
21 August 2011
wisdom teeth
I got all four wisdom teeth pulled on Thursday, and this is the worst/best day of the whole process. I woke up this morning feeling super nauseous, and made myself eat some real food today (mac n cheese!) and since then, I've been on the upswing. I'll be glad when all of this medicine and pain is out of my body. Not a pleasant experience, although I have enjoyed relaxing and not feeling guilty about resting.
Also, SCHOOL STARTS TUESDAY! super stoked. :)
Also, SCHOOL STARTS TUESDAY! super stoked. :)
14 August 2011
Who is like the Lord?
7 He raises the poor from the dust
and lifts the needy from the ash heap, 8 to make them sit with princes,
with the princes of his people.
psalm 113
"So we will find you in the streets
And we will find you in the prisons
And even in our Bibles and churches
Who is like the Lord
The maker of the heavens
Who dwells with the poor
He lifts them from the ashes
And He seats them among princes
Who is like the Lord
We cannot contain, cannot contain
The glory of your name
Who is like the Lord
You took me from the ashes
And you healed me from my blindness
Who is like the Lord"
//Cannot Keep You by Gungor
God. My heart hurts a lot. But I know you've got this.
and lifts the needy from the ash heap, 8 to make them sit with princes,
with the princes of his people.
psalm 113
"So we will find you in the streets
And we will find you in the prisons
And even in our Bibles and churches
Who is like the Lord
The maker of the heavens
Who dwells with the poor
He lifts them from the ashes
And He seats them among princes
Who is like the Lord
We cannot contain, cannot contain
The glory of your name
Who is like the Lord
You took me from the ashes
And you healed me from my blindness
Who is like the Lord"
//Cannot Keep You by Gungor
God. My heart hurts a lot. But I know you've got this.
Fill me up, God
I just have to say, United Pursuit Band is making some soul music right now. As in, it's good for my soul.
Love it. Thanks, Jesus.
Love it. Thanks, Jesus.
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